My Husband

I love my husband, unconditionally and unequivocally.

I think that is why I have felt rather forlorn the past few days. I suppose I could blame it on hormones but I think it is more his impending absence from our family. Every where we go, “So I here you are leaving”, “How long are you going to be gone?”, “What are you going to be doing?”, “Where are you going to be at”. It is great that people care and take the time to ask. However, it is hard to be constantly putting on “the face”. The face of strength. I’m just not that strong.

So it’s killing me. Here he is getting ready to leave and I’m just plain grumpy! That’s not fair to him… heck, it’s not fair to me.

Sometimes it is the little thing that set me off. He is so good about making my coffee every morning. He doesn’t drink coffee but the pot is almost always ready to go when I drag my heine out of bed in the morning. This morning it wasn’t ready. No biggie, I certainly wasn’t upset with him. But my first thought was, “Leanne, get used it it. He won’t be making your coffee in the not-too-far distant future.” It’s little thoughts like that which just dig this hole that I want to crawl into and come out of when this is all through.

I don’t want him to go. I want to enjoy our anniversary together, and 4th of July, and Christmas and every other holiday that we will miss being together. I want him to make my coffee every morning & enjoy a glass of wine with over dinner every night.

But this Army wife will suck it up. The ‘face of strength’ is just a face when he is around, because he is my strength. But I do know that once he is gone I will be the strength. We’ve been separated for periods of time before because of Army duties and quite frankly I amaze my self with the strength I muster to keep our family going. But why does this transition process have to be so hard?