A teacher has to wear many hats. They must be the teacher, nurse, referee and countless other things. They simply cannot do it all on their own. They need the support of the parents. Something as simple as practicing the song for the upcoming program or practicing their spelling can make all the difference in the world. Children need to feel valued . Material things do not provide that, only time and attention! ...
My hats off to teachers! But, even more so, hats off to my kids! I help my children with their 'sight-words', their songs, their math, etc etc, so that my children will feel good about themselves. Part of my job title as Mom is Teacher; academics, morals, values, behavior. We cover it all! Academically, I want my boys to get to school and to have part of their day be a review. I can only imagine this helps their self-esteem as they can shout out answers and are positive about what they are saying. My boys beam when they come home with an A+, a "Good Job", a sticker declaring 'Well done!'. Words of affirmation. Words that say "You are smart", which will keep them on the road of success.
Academically, I feel pretty confident in my ability to be a Mom. What I do struggle with is behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of them. We hear so very often about how well behaved they are, especially in very public settings. But sometimes in the closure of our own home I struggle with 'am I doing a good job'?
Wednesday was a late night. We were at a friend's house till way past bedtime. BabyBoy *L* has had an ear-infection and was still recouping. He screamed the whole way home. The two older boys were tired, having been back in the swing of school-routine for less then a week since Christmas break. We are all missing Dad / Hubs as he has been in Virginia for some Army-schooling.
At 9:30pm we pulled into the garage, got out of the van, and *C*, 5 years old, was very slow about it, DS in hand, a very valued Christmas present. I asked him several times to put it away. I had to raise my voice as *L* was still /extremely/ upset. *C* was oblivious. I finally grabbed the DS and threw it in my bag which sparked a temper-tantrum beyond description (on *C*'s part... mine followed quickly though.) So *L* is screaming, *C* is screaming and Mom is now... screaming. (And *E*, 8 years old is now very upset and crying too. He hates confrontation, just like his Mom.)
Oh how I hated losing my cool. I never hurt him. I never said anything to tear him down. I couldn't get past the yelling to get him to understand that it was not time to be playing with the DS; it was time to be walking in the house and getting into bed. I keep replaying the event wondering what I could have done differently and I just draw a blank.
Amazingly enough on Thursday after this whole ugly incident I was thinking about words of affirmation and how important they are. How I so rarely get them, compared to how I give them. (Ok, pity party for me ... but keep reading.) That afternoon I was going through my kindergartner's folder of school work and came across a hand drawn picture with the beautiful words "I love you, Mom". Words of affirmation. I gave him a huge hug and he said he did it during free-time and wanted me to know how much he loves me. Words in writing. Words in the air. Words that I will cherish. They remind me that as a mom I am, in fact, doing a great job!
- Leanne from MilitaryAvenue.com
PS "Never go to bed angry at one another". Even though it was late, after I calmed *L* down... pulling him out of his car-seat and cuddling for a few moments... I pulled 8 year-old, *E*, aside and reassured him that there was no reason for his tears. I reminded him how much I love him and I can understand how that would have been very stressful for him. Then I talked to *C*. I gave him hugs, explained how we need to put the DS away when he is told, and then asked for a round of apologies. He did, not begrudgingly. We all needed closure on that night. Reassurance that even when voices are raised there is still love deep in our hearts.