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You Scream, I Scream ...

I have a fun loving, head strong, wonderful two year old! As any mother may gush I think he is the best two year older this side of the Mississippi.

However, he is a screamer.

One of today's many episodes happened in the library. Of all places.

He's also had ear piercing, atom splitting, dog-hiding under the pillow scream fits at the grocery store, in the kitchen, in the front yard, at the pool, on walks, in public restrooms.  You name it, he's screamed.

The problem, usually?  He can't communicate.  Sometimes as a mom it makes me feel better to just know why he is screaming.  He may throw a fit because he wants ice cream and I've told him "No ice cream"; or if he wants to play outside but I can't be out there with him I might say "We can't be outside right now."  My reasoning and logic and nay saying may not make him feel completely better but at least I think I get the reason behind the major scream fest and I feel better.

However, if we are in the library, speaking from experience, and I have NO idea why he is screaming I get frustrated with him. I can't restate the problem, because I don't know it. I can only ask him to be quiet. (Like that works!)  I can't necessarily just leave because he has older brothers that love our weekly trips to the library.  I just have to sit him down in a chair.  Look at him and say "No!"  That leaves pretty much none of us happy.



Don't we all understand that?! Aren't there days you want to scream, kick, and just throw a toddler-sized temper tantrum at the rocks, stones and sticks the military has seemingly thrown at you? Aren't they listening? Don't they understand? Deployments, PCSs, long weeks in the field, long hours in the air, months at sea.  Sometimes "the powers that be" can only restate the problem and say "Sorry! That is the way it is."  Other times they simply might not understand.  Have you tried restating the problem instead of "screaming"?

In the mean time, any advice for the mother of a screamer?

- Leanne from MilitaryAvenue.com

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Leanne is Mom to a wonderful boy born just a couple years ago, "Welcome, Baby *L*!".  He is the post-deployment baby for their wonderful family of six.  Who knew life wasn't complete before *L* came along.  Now they know it is!  Leanne enjoys writing as the wife of a soldier, the daughter of an airman, the friend of many military-families and Director of Research and Development for MilitaryAvenue.com.

4 comments:

  1. Patience and sometimes let him scream it out.

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  2. I'm the mommy of a screamer!!! She's three now. The only advice I have from trial and error:
    1.) Be constant.. With EVERYTHING. For example.. If I'm "nice"and let her have a cookie before dinner one night.. She will be upset and scream because she thinks she can have one anytime. Another example.. If I give in to the cries and screams here and there, she learns fast it gets her what she wants.. Then when I don't give in she's upset and onward fires the horrible cycle. You know the old saying "consistency is key".

    2.)Maybe try baby sign language so he can better communicate.

    3.) I usually have a few small toys in my purse I user in emergencies as distractors in case I feel a tantrum coming on.

    4.) I can usually tell when she's getting in the mood for a tantrum.. And I try to remove us from the situation if possible.

    5.) Just my opinion. All of the caregivers should be on the same page. Its counter productive if mommy says no and grandma our daddy say "mean mommy.. Here have what you want". Then the could knows scream louder and get what I want from someone else!

    I hope some of this helps :).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beautiful tips, thank you! I love it when moms share tips, mom-to-mom.

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  3. Lol... "let him scream it out". Ya. Cause that works, in the library and all. My kids all went through this/2 year old currently in this phase. Fun, ain't it. I really don't mind that my kids or any others scream and throw tantrums. I mean, they're kids for pete sakes. What I can't stand is all the evil stares and looks we'll get. Especially at church. People can be so rude. Whenever I see another mom or dad with a screamer all Itry to be nice to the parent. There's no reasoning with a 2 or 3 yr old. So the best thing we can do is lift eachother up, smile, and know we all have had issues as parents.

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