Yesterday evening I sat on my front porch and just took the moment in. The kids were on their scooters & bikes playing with neighbors, racing up and down the sidewalk from driveway to driveway. 95% of the time when I am outside with the kids I’m DOING something: reading, outside with the laptop, weeding, sorting through a pile of papers from the kitchen counter, etc etc. But last night I just sat there.
My boys are at a good age: 5 and 3. They are mostly independent, but still love to hold my hand. They love to RUN and play, but will still sit on my lap at the end of the day. They might still need my help in the bathtub at night, but they don’t slam the door and require ‘privacy’. They may not be babies or toddlers any more, but they still need me.
*C*, my 3 year old, had his first day of preschool yesterday afternoon. He shed not ONE tear when I left his classroom. He gave me a big “wave” and a huge “I LOVE YOU, MOMMY.” Oh what a sweet breath of fresh-air for my soul. It can be hard being a temporary single-mom. We all miss Dad more then ANYONE can imagine. But my boys have, indirectly, helped me realize that I am doing a good job despite the circumstances.
So as I sat on my front porch yesterday evening, I watched the boys in their own worlds playing with friends. I was glad I took the time to shut-out the hustle and bustle of the world around me. Yes, things do need to get done. The paper pile on my kitchen-counter didn’t shrink last night. Emails did not get answered. The newspaper will probably be recycled without being read. The realization of how much I love my boys, and what a wonderful family I have was not new. But taking the time to remind myself of that by soaking in the sites and sounds of their world was priceless.