10 Tips for a Healthy Marriage … on Facebook

A Very Happy Valentine’s Day to our military-families!

I will honestly tell you hubs and I have no plans. I am a little sad about it but not terribly over-worked. It is hard with a young family to get out in the middle of the week as a couple. We certainly find time to ‘date’ each other but this Valentine’s Day does not entail a dinner out, fine dining and dancing. I am thinking it will involve a homemade pie, chocolate, wine, and most hopefully some candles, backrubs, lights down low … and a sleeping six-month old..

There is more to a healthy-marriage though then time alone. What about time in front of everyone else? Particularly, online. Talk about putting your feelings for each other out there in front of the world. How do you talk about your spouse? How do others see your marriage? It is not just a matter of perception, it is a matter of how others will respect your marriage.

10 Tips for a Healthy Marriage … on Facebook

  1. Keep fights between the two of you. It might seem easy to vent on line about the fact that Hubs is once again out drinking with his buds leaving you at home with the kids. That is a discussion between you and him. If you need to vent to a good friend about it send a private message to her… no need to air your dirty laundry to the world.
  2. Look at your pictures that you post. Do you post pictures of the two of you together? You should! If you don’t have any take a fun self-photo the next time you can to post.
  3. Be careful “friending” old romances. I admit I am friends on Facebook with a couple of old boyfriends, however, there is not even a hint of flirting between us. And they are certainly not relationships my husband is worried about. If you can remain friends with old romances great… it is, however, *not* alright to flirt in front of the world. That only undermines your spouse and leaves your marriage very vulnerable.
  4. Talk offline with each other about what you are comfortable with being posted on Facebook. An open discussion about something like Facebook and social media can lead to a deeper and more open conversation about topics that may be much more important.
  5. If your spouse is deployed make sure he isn’t learning all about what is happening on the home front on Facebook. Your Facebook status should not replace offline conversation with him.
  6. If your spouse is nagging you to help around the house and you post your status as “Bored. Nothing to do.” expect an argument. Be sure that you aren’t spending too much time behind the computer and for that matter Facebook. We are all tired and need time to relax! But more than 20 to 30 minutes when things need to be done is too long.
  7. Reminisce. Post a favorite wedding photo on your anniversary of just the two of you. Find an old picture when you were dating to post. Share a favorite picture of the two of you for all to see.
  8. Once a week make your ‘status’ about something you love about your spouse. It can be goofy, gushy or just something you love about him. Let your friends and family know how much you love him. Last night I was folding laundry in the kitchen and hubs was cutting fruit at the counter. Suddenly a favorite Chicago song came on the stereo. It was a wonderful four-minutes of goofy-singing together (as off pitched as we both are!) and it made a fun ‘status’ later in the evening. How fun to let the world know we are still in love and having fun while we are at it!
  9. If he does something nice for you, expected or otherwise, let others know! You never know it might just lead to more ‘random acts of kindness’ on his part. 😉
  10. This Valentine’s Day, when you sit down to see what is happening in the Facebook world be sure to send out a special “I love You!” on his wall or from your status. Let the world know that he is your one and only Valentine.

Facebook is definitely just a blip in the radar of romance for some. But it can turn a relationship sour very quickly if you aren’t careful! There is truth to the fact that not treated properly social media can rip your marriage in half. But with some forethought and persevering you can add another drop of love into the strength of your marriage.

– Leanne from

byLeanne KocsisonMonday, February 14, 2011Military Life:,,,,,

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