Mentorship in Marriage

39 years ago today, I wasn’t but a sparkle in my mom’s eye as she walked down the aisle in her beautiful white dress on her dad’s arm. Her focus, my dad, her future! My future. My children’s future. I have been blessed. Since that wedding day the Lt. and Mrs. became Mom and Dad to three children, me and my two younger brothers. They took their family where the military sent them, far from their own families. They relied on each other, friends around them and the grace of God. Their three children grew up, got married and had children. Dad has retired from the Air Force after thirty-years of service. They have both fought cancer, together, taking care of each other. The new husband and wife have become grandparents to nine. And I see the blessings of their union each and every morning.

Marriage isn’t just about a husband and a wife. Although they should always be the focus! Marriage is about generations. My children will be blessed by my parents’ faithfulness. My children’s children will be blessed by my parents’ love. My great-grandchildren will be blessed by my parents’ give and take. Generations will reap what they sow.

Hubs and I have started a marriage-course through our small-group (aka weekly-Bible Study). Hubs and I aren’t perfect. It may be a ‘perfect union’ but the husband and the wife are flawed. Hubs can be rather detached and I am perfect expect too much of him. It is reality.

Fortunately, the couples in my small-group have grown to be friends and confidants. When I have a problem in my life it is not too hard to speak up knowing I have prayer-warriors to stand beside me. As we started this marriage-study we had just come back from a few days vacation as a family and some things had come up. I was feeling alone and was quite certain that NO OTHER couple had EVER experienced the issues we were facing. (Dramatic, me?! Never) I started to tell two of the other couples in the room during the study ‘huddle-time’ what I was feeling and you know what one of the couples said to me? “We’ve been there! We had the same problem for many years.” Then they want on to talk about it. They weren’t just saying it to make me feel better. They meant it.

Wow! I was blown away. I /clung/ to those words of encouragement, of promise, of hope, all week and just asked God to use them in me. And He has! They chipped at the feeling of self-doubt and the feeling of inadequacy. They reminded me that this isn’t a journey we walk alone. Yes, Hubs and I are the center of our marriage but we have this awesome support network all around us!

Where is your marriage? Who are your mentors? If your marriage is in a hurting place surround yourself with folks that want to see your relationship bloom. Find friends and family that care about you and your future.

How blessed am I! I wish my parents a Happy 39th Anniversary today! They started their morning off with doctors’ appointments (a sign of their age, I suppose); then they are spending time together at a local-garden doing something they both enjoy (a sign that they are truly in love, I know). They have kept their love in bloom and it is the smell of a very sweet nectar to be smelled, seen and tasted for generations to come.

– Leanne from

PS: A great song to commemorate this day is Sara Grove’s Generations. Take a listen:–1978811byUnknownonFriday, May 13, 2011Military Life:,,,

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