The Happy Dance

Heartened by love and prayers and knowing that God was in charge; we had a “new normal” after treatments but always knew there might be a re-attack. We turned up the radar system and did the mammograms, x-rays, bone scans, bone density tests, MRIs, medications, ultrasounds and doctor appointments.

Then came that call, the radar had picked up another blip, a potential bogey had been spotted – “please come in for more tests”. It had been six years and the call was totally unexpected. For most, the highest risk of return of breast cancer is within five years of treatment and she had been in remission for longer. Why?

Facing the day together we arrived at the Lemmen-Holton Cancer Center in Grand Rapids a bit early. Signed in, we took our seats waiting for the technician to call her back. Apprehension on the caregiver’s part for sure, I fumbled with my phone and then found a magazine to read when alone. A quiet time of holding hands…a soft embrace of tenderness but underlying fear of what was to come – we knew and had lived through treatment once before and would do it again if necessary.

It was a very long 45 minutes, the magazine just a small diversion, the phone with no connection, the concern growing as the minutes slowly crawled by like ants on the floor with no particular place to go it seemed. Glances at the door grew more frequent, needing to insure she did not surprise me with my head down, sometimes praying, other times just barely hanging on, holding the head … the chill, the stomach a knot for sure. A familiar outline in the small door window…no need for words or explanation.  The Happy Dance!  An “all clear” sounded on the siren.  We laughed, hugged and chatted on the way out the door and yes, a silent prayer of thank you.